certified gangsta

Bring out yr dead.

2009-01-27T23:09:00.005-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts round here. I have moved operations over to the Tumblr. It was a difficult decision. I'm not sure I'm using Tumblr correctly. I don't exactly understand what re-blogging entails and it feels like an echo chamber when I sign onto the dashboard. I certainly don't know enough ex-Gawker employees to be there. But until Blogger comes up with a way to embed mp3s, that's where I'll be.

If the film "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" Had Been Made in 2008...

2008-06-25T21:51:00.004-04:00

Spicoli would have blown his reward money hiring Lil Wayne and T-Pain, together known as T-Wayne to the thinking man, to play his birthday party.

Word to Diamond Dave.

1990

2008-06-11T17:55:00.006-04:00

It's real. A routine trip south of 14th Street to see what new colors the standard Uni-Qlo t-shirt is popping off in for the summer proved it.

The graduating class of 2008's neon-dipped color scheme is right in line with the year in which most it was born.

Expect Lil Mama to rip 32 bars over the following slice of YouTube nostalgia on her next mixtape.

Dispatches from The Stadium

2008-05-19T17:36:00.004-04:00

Joba Chamberlain is now exiting the bullpen and entering home games to the sound of 57,000 fans and Tommy Lee's toms and Mick Mars' riffage.

One day we'll get to a place where a Major League Baseball reliever will feel comfortable using Guitar Wolf's "Sex Napoleon" as entrance music. "Shout At the Devil" will have to do for now.

Quotables

2008-05-16T18:02:00.004-04:00

The world weariness in Jayceon's voice is getting fairly epic. Maybe he just stepped to the booth after a 4 a.m. karaoke slumber party on this one, but I hope that hoarseness is here to stay. Too bad that voice and an always welcome Keyshia appearance are wasted on a track that rocks its audience gently to sleep.

The endless run down and reverence for Luke, Kane, Jay, Cube, et. al. was old on the last album. There are better places than lead singles to waste time worrying about who is getting enough votes for entry into the canon. Like, maybe, here. Game, you are not a Nah Right commenter. You are a sometimes more than serviceable major label rapper with a decent following and production budget. Live in the now, man.

Also, it would appear that Raekwon has taken to the Baron Davis/Rick Ross-inspired beard trend. Check the 2:40 mark. This is cause for celebration.

I'm a hustla, baby.

2008-05-14T09:42:00.010-04:00

Skateboard P! You sort of had me on the hyperjazz tip until the patented Neptunes piano shmaltz at 2:00.

In 20 years people are going to be paying $1,000 a plate to have Pharrell croon the hook to "I Just Wanna Love U" on the main stage at Caesar's Palace.

So can anyone enlighten as to what, exactly, this song about?

UPDATE/REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMIX!:

If only every meh N.E.R.D. song got a 24 hour makeover and some double-time raps from P to the Ush Ah.

Loose fit

2008-05-01T11:13:00.007-04:00

After repeated listens, the new Rich Boy mixtape is officially an unexpected gem. It is straight up heartening to see a dude with promise come back from a half-misfire of a debut by playing totally to his strengths. With summer approaching we could all use a fresh batch of drawled out car talk over in-house down south production.

That said, it's still hard getting used to snarl-mouthed rappers rapping raps about Ecstasy.

Dude? Robert Miles? The circa 1997 Euro-club takeover of rap is unstoppable. Probably not a bad thing.

To complicate the mix even further, "Rollin Rollin" was a Jackie Chain joint before Rich Boy got his hands on it. He actually makes references to catching back rubs in the VIP in the original. Apologies for showing up five months late to the party Jackie.

Here's hoping "Go" supplants "Scarface" as default hip hop movie reference, if only for a few months.

Endorsement opportunities

2008-04-28T19:43:00.008-04:00

This Santogold album, when one finally stops putting it off for fear of dashed expectations, is approximately 12-15 times better than anticipated. It also contains a song titled, "Shove It." It features Spank Rock doing his best Rich Boy impression and a chorus, chanted ad nauseum, of, "we think you're a joke, shove your hope where it don't shine."

Sly political commentary? Blatant attempt at that Clinton donor guap? Just some shit that sounds vaguely contrarian enough for the post-M.I.A. image?

Dispatches from the continent

2008-04-28T16:13:00.005-04:00

From a recently received email titled, "new kylie minogue":

"'in my arms' WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! peace, im in amsterdam right now gotta go get high"

Kanye borrows Euro-club sensibility. Queen of Euro-club sensibilities borrows Kanye's sunglasses. Makes sense.

Let it bleed

2008-04-11T16:45:00.004-04:00

The are many remarkable things about the Soulwax re-imagining of "You Can't Always Get What You Want." The most might be the fact that, after hearing the song literally hundreds of times on classic rock radio for the last 25 years, Mick's phrasing of "50-amp fuse" has finally revealed itself.

Listen here.

Melodrama

2008-04-08T11:33:00.005-04:00

Say what you wanna. I ride for M83.

Hey Jeezy, Can I get an adlib?

2008-04-07T20:39:00.007-04:00

Usher Ush! Congratulations on delivering the first true sign that the northeast quadrant of the U.S.A. is defrosting.

But dude, as the trend seems to be for very small, very low-res viewing of videos, why do you stay eff-ing with letterbox?

New Skin

2008-03-29T00:50:00.007-04:00

I have started a thought stream on Tumblr.

You can check it here.

The purpose of a Tumblr is a work in progress but, hell, it really vibes with posting frequently... and things as frivolous as Descendents covers on the piano.

Brave new world.

YES!

2008-03-27T22:41:00.001-04:00

Dumb Out

2008-03-24T09:40:00.003-04:00

This one has already been discussed at length. Some people love it. Some people hate it. Some people are aware that it is a blatant crossover attempt in which the greatest rapper alive doesn't rap and bows to the android R&B flavor du jour.

Whatever your policy stance on "Lollipop," it's worth pointing out that Weezy F. Baby stays innovating. He figured out the one thing that the android R&B flavor du jour needed more of: guitar solos!

Why does he run?

2008-03-23T20:11:00.002-04:00

About a week ago the BBC ran a segment that featured Anwan "Slim Charles" Glover, the recipient of a few misplaced handgun rounds himself, being interviewed about gun violence in our nation's capital. To keep things fair and balanced, some lady in professional business attire showed how long it takes her to load the assault shotgun she keeps locked under her bed, in case someone was coming up the staircase to stick her up for some of that PAC cake.

Obviously, this was something that I had hoped to share with the Internet. The BBC, unfortunately, didn't get the embeddable Flash player memo.

On the day that Georgetown went and shot more than a few brackets point blank, this Tabi Bonney jam will have to suffice.

THIS IS A BORING VIDEO

2008-03-19T13:01:00.003-04:00

That said, it accompanies some of the best drums recent memory.

Take Your Charge cont.

2008-02-21T12:47:00.005-05:00

Three more questions raised by B.G.'s new Gangsta Grillz mix tape:

1. Does DJ Drama's voice just have a natural echo effect on it at this point?

2. Like, if he orders at Starbucks, does it sound something like this: "Let me get that tall cinnamon dolce latte-ottayottayottay..."?

3. How stoked are you for the Hot Boys reunion?

Take Your Charge

2008-02-20T16:54:00.007-05:00

Three questions raised by B.G.'s new Gangsta Grillz mix tape:

1. Hey, Cliff, you're not really going to keep up this whole "there is T.I. and then there is T.I.P." thing, are you?

2. How did it take someone this long to rap some raps over "The Final Countdown"?

3. Where you been, Jeezy? Glad to have you back.

Damn, Gina!

2008-02-13T14:27:00.009-05:00

Q: How good does a beat have to be to still, six months after its release, overcome the following metaphorical metaphors...

I. Exclaiming that one's hatred for the paparazzi is greater than the National Socialist Party's hatred of nearly everything,
II. Comparing the loneliness deep in one's soul to a, "Katrina with no FEMA,"
III. Thinking about the preceding comparison, reconsidering it, then exclaiming that said loneliness actually felt more like, "Martin with no Gina,"
IV. Somehow squeezing the Mona Lisa and Julius Caesar into a romantic (lowercase r) relationship in the same historical period?

A: This fucking good.

Cam would have absolutely murdered about half of that album.

Good Grief

2008-01-28T20:53:00.000-05:00

Not that I had confused Bernard Freeman with someone who was going to do a year of magical thinking or anything, but this is, ahem, fantastic news.

Word to Eskay and, of course, R.I.P. Chad.

How Does He Know I Know?

2008-01-27T17:06:00.000-05:00

I am hereby officially predicting big things for D.G. Yola in 2008. He certainly can only improve upon his 2007.

First off: solid track. Second off: how many dudes with trachs do you know who would continue to rip it in the manner above?

Aspirational Living

2008-01-24T13:05:00.001-05:00

It's Thanksgiving. You are in your home town. You are at a bar. Every time you have been to this bar it feels like karaoke night, though the bar does not bill itself as a karaoke bar. You are impressed by a woman in her 50s who rocks "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart" in a sort of Aretha/Janis hybrid. She looks like the secretary who worked in your middle school principal's office.

Then, this next one drops and it's impossible to tell who's supposed to the official karaoke champ because the whole place loses it. Everyone is singing every word. You see one couple actually mouth the chorus to each other in a manner that suggests they have done it many, many times before. You are baffled because you consider yourself a lover of pop music, but you have never heard this song before...

"That's curious," you think, and make some joke about not knowing that Saliva or Puddle of Mudd or whoever was still making music. You go back to your aluminum Bud Light bottle and the story about your friend and the cute Spanish teacher that one summer after graduation.

A few months later, you're spending more time in the '97 Volvo than you have in a while (what with the MetroCard and oil crisis and all) and you cannot escape this song on the FM dial. One morning, on the way to cop your grande Yukon Blend, it hits you. This thing stands at the perfect intersection of, like, 18 different genres of very popular, very American music. You realize that Nickelback is Canadian. You press on, undaunted.

Conversational Nashville tone? Check. Pull myself up out of the hood luxury living speak? Check. Classic rock sound? Check. An inexplicable reference to quesadillas spoken by what sounds like Satan? Check.

What hath you wrought, MuzikMafia?

For a moment there, you think you are brilliant. Only when you get home and fire up GooTube, you discover that Nickelback and their video direction team totally knew what they were doing. The video for the song says it pretty well: lots of people spanning lots of different demographics -- from the Great One to noted high school fantasy Eliza Dushku -- seem to like Nickelback a lot.

Only, wait. You're not sure you get it. The song seems to be snidely acknowledging the absurdity of the lifestyle that it speaks of. But the video sort of celebrates it:

"You're fine by us, Dale Jr.; you got rich but you keep it real."

"Stars, yo, they're just like us."

Is this the new populism?

You begin to see why it is, exactly, that Big John Edwards has been having a rough go of it so far in 2008.

Back Like Zab

2008-01-23T09:36:00.000-05:00

Add us up, dumb fuck: the sum of all your fears.

Mobile Text Updates From The Edge

2008-01-19T11:04:00.000-05:00

This shit still slays. See you some time after 12 p.m. Tuesday.

All Your Questions Answered

2008-01-02T12:06:00.000-05:00

A-Frames, are you still out there writing odes to the end of all times? I would like to hear some more of them. Your Sub-Pop page hasn't been updated since you released "Black Forest." I was beginning to fear you played the old quiet, dignified breakup card, but MyPlace intervened.

Cue sigh of relief. That would have been a shame. "Galena" remains a force of nature.

Housekeeping: I know I promised a year-end album and video list, but I'm kind of over it. Just crank dat "I'll Sleep When You're Dead" and "Person Pitch" on opposing stereos and you'll have a fairly decent idea of what 2007 felt like -- at least in my head. You gotta take the highs with the lows, bro.

Phonetics

2007-12-27T12:26:00.000-05:00

I know there's supposed to be an album list here. It will come soon. Right now there is a video for a song by Rocko named "Umma Do Me."

Is the whole Rapiverse going to soon be biting Wayne's purposefully obnoxious elongated pronunciation? I think there's really only room for one of those dudes. The word "car" is one syllable long. You need not stretch it out for half a bar. Unless, of course, you are a bottle of Tussin deep and rhyming it with your desire to swallow a star. Other than that first verse though, Umma ride for this one.

"Rocky" horns! Jeezy take-off/powering-up/Power Ranger sounds! Extolling the virtues of matching your shoes to your hat to your, er.. handbag! Whatever, Rock! You stay doing you!

Fly Your Flag

2007-12-26T20:33:00.000-05:00

Presented here, in somewhat super-scientifical order (Big ups iTunes play count function!), are the 27 Certified tracks of the year of our Lord two-thousand and seven.

1. M.I.A. - "Paper Planes"

2. LCD Soundsystem - "Someone Great"
3. R. Kelly ft. T-Pain and T.I. - "I'm A Flirt (Remix)"

4. Tip Harris - "Tell 'Em I Said That"
5. UGK ft. Outkast - "Int'l Players Anthem"

6. El-P - "Tasmanian Pain Coaster"
7. Animal Collective - "For Reverend Green"
8. Jay-Z - "Blue Magic"

9. Black Lips - "Katrina"
10. The Jesuses - "Let it Loose"
11. DJ Khaled ft. Akon, T.I., Ricky Rawwws, Fat Joe, Birdman, Lil Wayne, Young Jeezy, Lil Kim, Robert Sylvester Kelly, T-Pain - "We Takin' Over" and "We Takin' Over Remix (a.k.a. A Whole Lot of Us Took Over)"

12. Prodigy - "Bang On 'Em"
13. Project Pat - "Ready For Whateva"
14. Lil D'Wayne Carter - "Upgrade"
15. Dizzee Rascal ft. UGK - "Where da G's?"
16. Radiohead - "All I Need"
17. Rihanna - "Question Existing"
18. Spoon - "The Underdog"

19. Arcade Fire - "No Cars Go"
20. !!! - "Must Be the Moon"

21. Vampire Weekend - "The Kids Don't Stand a Chance"
22. Klaxons - "It's Not Over Yet"

23. Kanye West ft. Young Jeezy - "Can't Tell Me Nothin (Remix)"
24. Okkervil River - "Savannah Smiles"
25. Juelz Santana - "The Second Coming"

26. Liars - "Freak Out"

27. Menonema - "Muscle n' Flo"

Some albums that I listened to a bunch will probably appear in a similar post tomorrow, and -- later still -- a bunch of videos I watched on GooTube.

Bangin' on Some Bangers

2007-12-20T23:57:00.000-05:00

It being the season for creation myths and general cosmic wonder, and I having found the highest res version of this video that GooTube hath to offer, here's a classic.

SHOW! OF THE YEAR, 2007

2007-12-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

Daft Punk at Coney Island notwithstanding edition: LCD Soundsystem, Webster Hall, May 14.

The real show is watching Pat Mahoney drum like this for an hour:

I was pretty sure he was going to explode or turn into one of those weird pure energy light beings from the end of A.I. by the time they got to "Yeah (Crass Version)" on the encore.

That video was not of the show I attended with Maciej (propers for extra ticket love), by the way. I believe that video was shot in Manchester. It is, however, a completely fair and accurate depiction of what my experience was like.

Certified Gangsta: now repping 100 percent more predictable year-end wrap-up action.

The Undisputed Underground Queen

2007-12-12T14:16:00.001-05:00

Gangsta Boo is back with the Hypnotize Minds camp? DJ Paul and Juicy J are doing beats for her? Don't they have their own album/dropped ball reality cash in to worry about? Didn't she find Jesus?

I'm like whateva man, because this is a hell of a song.

While on the topic of Lady Boo, you should roll on over to the House of Noz and pick up the extra-enlightening Doc Jam remix of "Sippin and Spinnin."

Luckily, the King of All Internet Raps doesn't dead his links after a few months. That means Happy Holidays to you.

With a new secret ingredient: Smylex.

2007-12-08T14:56:00.000-05:00

Some time in 2004, Alexis Taylor discovered the Rosetta Stone of how to endear himself to a generation of dorks raised in the early 90s.

These dudes just keep getting better.

Chad Butler

2007-12-04T15:46:00.000-05:00

More later, but for now I'm just going to stay being bummed on this.

The Pepsi Challenge

2007-11-28T12:58:00.000-05:00

The new Scarface video, featuring Trey Songz.

A slightly old UGK video, featuring Outkast.

Bonus points for the Willie D sighting, and the Willie Hutch/Lenny Williams samples are pretty much a wash, but I think my heart lies with Dre and Bun and Pimp and Boi.

It's alright. There are worse things in the world to crib from than the best video/song of year-ending 2007.

"Made," on first listen, is worth the wait and horrible cover art. It's making a case for rap album of the fourth quarter. Seriously. Listen to the intro transition into "Never" and tell me otherwise.

They Reminisce Over You

2007-11-27T21:50:00.000-05:00

I know the dudes are on the payroll of Puma or Fred Perry or whatever, but this is a very nice essay with some very pretty pictures and one hell of a trip in the Wayback Machine via the YouTube collage. The Moldy Peaches! Radio 4!?

Whoever thought these would be the dudes from Class of '01 most likely to get all Industrial Light & Magic on us?

Hear The Song

2007-11-17T16:12:00.000-05:00

Hey! Dudes who spend all of their time worrying that rap "isn't saying anything," and, who get convoluted-the-hell-out to remedy this, please check out the first track on the new Freeway album.

It is called "This Can't Be Real." Note how Free deftly flips the title's disbelief so that it refers to both his current Roc-La-Billionaire status and the general fucked-upness of life in North Philly.

Whatever Happened to Papoose Anyway?

2007-11-09T12:52:00.000-05:00

This is great and it totally makes me want to run faster and jump higher and generally tear shit up around the bridle path (keeping it gully on the UWS)...

But, did we really need 24 months of Home Box Office crossover buzz building? For all his Jimmy Breslining of the button, Sai never really says anything.

Also, am I crazy, or was Swizzy not playing hypeman on the version that leaked like four months ago? When did that happen?

I Got Pataki at Me

2007-11-08T22:35:00.000-05:00

As of yesterday, there is a new mixtape in the world from noted cult leader/recluse/raider of answering machines Cam'ron.

The intro to this tape is more than six and a half minutes of Cameron Giles explaining the last six months of Cameron Giles' life. It is worth the price of admission.

Apparently he and Jimmy won't be making music anymore. That's only sort of a bummer. I just hope we still get a Back Like Cooked Crack Vol. 4: The Crack Cracks Crack.

"I've never seen such foolishness, buffoonery, hogwash and a bigger gaffe ever ran in my life." (c) King Joffe Joe

PS. Anyone else more than a little hesitant to give the Dipset your email address? Me too.

PPS. Four minutes of Cam rapping over "Don't Stop Believing?" Yes please. What a world we live in.

The Yeas Have It

2007-10-24T21:43:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, when listening to the new Yeasayer album, I'm thinking: "OK, we get it. This is a little too much."

Other times I'm like: "Shit yeah! Every song needs a chorus of kids and falsetto zombies on backing vocals on the outro! Is that a clarinet!?!? Turn the handclaps up, we are jamming! More solo please!"

Yeasayer - "2080"

Between this, "Strawberry Jam" and the Celebration album, I am going to have to grow my hair out and start trading tapes.

Line 'Em Up

2007-10-24T19:40:00.000-04:00

It would seem that Justin and Leslie will no longer be making music together. This is a shame because when they used to make music together it would sometimes result in songs that sound like this.

State Prop was a total mess from the get go; that was always part of the appeal -- especially as Jay began to resemble a giant Mao statue.

The recent career suicides of Beans and Free are, however, on another level.

Maybe there's a whole lot of low rent Philly beat makers just giving the shit away. Or, maybe the beef as promotional tool move is in full effect. Or maybe Beanie Sigel just really doesn't vibe with Kanye West and Freeway is generally upset that Just Blaze avoids his iChats.

Dude does seem to care way too much about the Saigon project.

Anyway, while we're here: Peedi Crakk, ladies and gentlemen! "Torture" remains non-Dwayne mixtape of the year.

Run The Numbers

2007-10-18T22:26:00.000-04:00

Peep some late night freakonomics.

The Oxfordshire lads might have that product that everyone is talking about at a price that everyone can agree upon, but El Producto himself beat them to market in March with the best Radiohead album of 2007.

So what if it retails for $13.99? You're eligible for FREE Super Shipper Savings, brah.

BALTIMORE, Md. --

2007-10-11T19:38:00.000-04:00

Best use of the maxims put forth by the Associated Press Stylebook and Briefing on Media Law I've seen all semester.

January cannot come soon enough.

Circles

2007-09-26T21:52:00.000-04:00

Misfired single of the year. This video is exactly six months too late.

Via The Fader, who put it best.

Abracadabra!

2007-09-23T17:56:00.000-04:00

Maybe it's just the Shawn-over-Rakim vapors speaking here, but is this not fiercer than fierce?

Whoever programmed those drums deserves a medal.

The album still sounds like a train wreck, but Hova the Great has at least piqued the interest with this.

PS. A video preview for a single? Get your new media cake up!

PPS. Who else was real stoked when they heard Babu's opening montage and thought that was the actual beat?

They're soaking up the fauna, doing blotters...

2007-09-22T23:13:00.000-04:00

Before he was doling out martinis at the Great Jones Cafe, Mark Ibold made a living by occasionally stepping up and dropping fuzzy bass notes that could be compared to NBA three pointers or stand-up doubles hit to the gap. Workmanlike. Devastating.

Just some lessons learned on a Saturday afternoon about a bassist from a band that used to play a while ago. Shredding lap top speakers before lap top speakers existed. YouTube is a hell of a drug.

Soon We'll Understand

2007-09-20T01:37:00.000-04:00

According to Eskay, YN and probably some other dudes who go by a couple one-two initials, the Big Homey is officially going to attempt a comeback from the comeback.

Let's hope its loose associations with American Gangster will give Hov license to rhyme about subjects other than grocery shopping at Dean & Deluca or whatever. Let's hope when they say first single with Pharrell they really mean first single secretly only produced by Chad in his Hell Hath No Fury hyperbaric chamber. Let's hope that S Dot heeds Billups' advice.

Sheeeeit, while we're at it, let's hope this sparks a delirious breakout of new Billups posts. The dude lives at the corner of Internet and Fucking Brilliant.

Greater Than

2007-09-19T16:04:00.000-04:00

Despite the passing of 12 months, a slightly overwrought concept and a way-too-edited video edit, this song stays being, ahem, great.

Maybe even better than "All Of My Friends."

Not saying, just saying.

Blood Thirsty Babe

2007-09-18T15:26:00.000-04:00

Forgive me for taking, like, two whole fiscal quarters to get 10 tracks past "Umbrella" on Good Girl Gone Bad, but holy A-symmetrical haircut, bros and ladies!

When did Riri get to recording over cleaned-up TV on the Radio demos?

"Question Existing" (Z-Share)

I know Def Jam and Interscope aren't really talking right now but someone needs to look up the Sitek Bros. on the Universal Music Group list-serv and make it happen.

I RIGHT X-ZOOM 999

2007-09-09T16:39:00.000-04:00

According to Goo-Tube, Mikey Mann is now directing Nike football commercials.

In doing so he's borrowed Trevor Jones' epically epic score for his best film ever.

Cue the roid rage.

Happy football day.

Got More Records Than the KGB

2007-08-01T19:46:00.000-04:00

M.I.A.'s new album, Kala, has maybe made its way to the shadier corners of the Internet. This album has 12 tracks, the second-to-last of which is named "Paper Planes."

This song, "Paper Planes," features a ~~Blur~~ Clash sample [ed. I hit the "get familiar" button on Combat Rock about three weeks late. All apologies to Saint Joe], wanton gunshot/cash register effects and a borrowed nonlyric from "Rump Shaker." It should be huge.

It's the best snap music ballad that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs haven't gotten around to recording yet. Go, search it out.

Bonus Beats: Here's some video of Maya and Wes cooking it up via The Music Slut.

It Was All a Dream

2007-07-25T00:11:00.001-04:00

Just when you think that you've heard it all. When Clifford vs. Cliff has run its course. When you're not sure if that UGK album is ever going to show up. When you've heard "Beautiful Girls" three times in a row on the FM dial. When it's mid-July and nothing could ever possibly feel new...

Here come those "Juicy Fruit" drums and Mary J. Blige mach 2007.

Does very obvious digging in the crates get any better than that? Missy even muses on what the crowd is going to do when they hear her fake them out. That is some "we need Charlie Kaufman and Michel Gondry on the video" shit right there. This is how you make a self-referencing hit.

Baby babe-eeeee.

Top Shotta

2007-06-15T22:31:00.000-04:00

Why are people not digging this jam?

Dear New Yorkers in favor of bringing New York back:

Take a breather from the Nah Right comments section and head out to the corner. This shit sounds, like, unbelievably good coming out of passing cars.

Boy-ah.

Reconstructing Nasir

2007-06-13T21:57:00.000-04:00

Justin Blaze is better at everything in life than you.

Take this for example.

Just to be clear: the man who is responsible for like 40-55 percent of this century's best jams is now writing one of the top five enlightertaining rap blogs out. And he updates with frequency!

This is like finding out the kid who used to give you the answers to your pre-Calc homework in the cafeteria before class could dunk from the foul line. Should we all just go ahead and quit now?

Anyway, Just had me reconsidering "It Ain't Hard to Tell" with that post, so here goes.

Deconstructing Shawn

2007-05-11T02:26:00.000-04:00

Close readers will note that this, right here, is a personal favorite.

Back in the nineties...

...back in the nineties we were motherfucking teenagers. He even says "double-u, double-u, dot" like my sophomore English teacher.

Ski, we love you, but, get familiar with all three W's!

FREE STRESS TEST!!!

2007-03-31T22:23:00.000-04:00

This is what happens when you peace early on a Bushwick hardcore show and go home to drink the YouTube juice.

Majesty.

Fuck you L. Ron Hubbard.

...calling you Kelly, when your name is Tommy

2007-03-13T22:53:00.000-04:00

While mixing it up in the SOHH forums today, as one is apt to do when one is charged with keeping tabs on T-Pain's every waking breath, your humble author happened upon a whole lot of hate directed at this monster...

Seriously peoples! Kels is still an alleged freak. Let's take this "innocent until proven guilty" adlib for as much as it is worth and enjoy summer '07's first preemptive strike.

Go forth and drop the top on pa duke's SC! Sip on some radioactive sizzurp at Senor Frog's! Get all grindy with your prom date!

The vernal equinox is within sight and Robert Sylvester Kelly is on our side.

U Don't Know

2007-02-11T21:09:00.001-05:00

Can we get a presidential decree or some such shit that says that the Bandana-ed One is only allowed to work with Justin Blaze?
The "U Don't Know" beatjack from the third edition of the Back Like Cooked Crack series really started to point in that direction, but this seals that shit...

And it was all just too sell some duffs, like, explicitly?

Blood Meridian: The Musical

2007-01-26T18:02:00.000-05:00

"Yeah, that's why I went and put it on YouTube. I wasn't shooting for TV. I know there's a whole world on the internet; I don't need TV."
Lonnie Rott, via a hit on the hip, reminded of this yesterday. As if this beast needs to be reminded of.

Also, fully aware of the Breihan swagger jack here, but it needs to be said: THIS GUY IS FUCKING BRILLIANT!

Now, what are you waiting for? Go my son, YouTube that feeling.

Oh, indeed.

2007-01-24T22:43:00.000-05:00

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyo.
Preach it Noz.

Apologies for this being slept on, but there is a new 9 to 5 that involves the Internet, and, well, we all know that joke.
Promises to be back posting somewhat regularly.

Papa, why was the Internet even invented?

2007-01-19T15:42:00.000-05:00

Answer:

His name was called...

2006-12-28T00:22:00.000-05:00

'Tis the season for mythical origin stories. Second verse, right before Mike Jones and Birdman get their arms race on.
Consider this piece Stan Lee-ed.

And that should be a perfect warning.

2006-12-11T22:42:00.000-05:00

Let's say someday soon you find yourself walking around with a bittorrented version of the new LCD Soundsystem full-length burning a whole in your hard drive.
Maybe you are not expecting much. Maybe you have not been thinking about James Murphy lately. Maybe you get through the first three songs and are not underwhelmed--because that's not the right word--but just a little unsure of where things go from here.
And then track four cues and it's the static pulse noise from the best fifth of the Nike/iTunes thing.
"Oh motherfucking snap," is something you might think to yourself as you realize that said movement is now a full-formed song named "Someone Great."

Nukin' and Buckin' and Ready to Fight

2006-12-07T10:10:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Idolator for pointing out that Crime Mob has had some issues to deal with in the ramp-up to Hated On Mostly.
Also thanks to Idolator, who gives daps to Dicobelle on this one, for giving us the Haddaway sampling "What Is Love."
Get ready for a lot of people who didn't realize that they were terribly unfunny in 1997 to start making like Ferrell and Kattan all over again.
Also, while doing some research for the above, this was stumbled upon. Yes, it's 18-month-old news and probably just from a one-off, ill-conceived press release and nothing at all to get excited about, but I'm all excited.

Herman the Kid, Bob Ghengis Khan, So-crates Johnson

2006-12-04T15:27:00.000-05:00

The great thing about New York Noise?
You can, after staying in on a Saturday night and scaring yourself by being genuinely stoked/moved/a little weepy by the final presentation scene in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, turn to channel 22 and discover that songs like this are still getting videos made for them:

The great thing about YouTube?
You can, at the exact moment in your workday when you most need it, watch this video again at your own discretion and have a private, absurd freak-out. Like a good freak-out though.
Our tax dollars at work.

Heart and Soul

2006-12-02T18:32:00.000-05:00

Immediately after the last post was up, there was a sudden and oddly guilt-ridden realization that things have been seriously rap-heavy around here as of late.

Consider the pace momentarily changed.
When the hell was this video was shot?

Postscript: "Consider the Order momentarily New," would have been an exponentially better choice of words.

Too Much Love

2006-12-02T18:05:00.000-05:00

Dear The Game,

Could you please make "Too Much" the next single?
There's probably some law of good taste against releasing two Scott Storch tracks in a row, but c'mon man. That line you have about letting it bump as if you had him tied up in the trunk is a sly enough acknowledgement of his obnoxious tendencies for me.
I mean "Let's Ride (Strip Club)" is aight, I guess, but this one is really going to help flesh out those first week drop offs. Besides, Just Blaze Public Enemy rips are just so October, so "Remedy" is kind of out of the question. It does wreck though.
And let's be real, Nate Dogg could probably use the royalty checks.

Sincerely,
Matt

P.S. Have you ever google image searched yourself? No Gideon Yago.
There are a surprising number of pictures of you sitting on tires out there.

We Got it For $10.83

2006-11-29T00:26:00.000-05:00

So here it is.

After four years, two mixtapes, a too-short CMJ teaser show at the Knitting Factory and 67 release dates, Zomba went and made Hell Hath No Fury available for legal purchase.
Now, not to say it didn't instantly join King and Fishscale on the best of 2006 tip, but I was kind of expecting this thing to let me breathe underwater or replace petroleum based fuel sources. It didn't and that probably speaks to fan boy tendencies more than anything else.
That said, "Trill" and "Ride Around Shining" are reason enough (straight boom-bap and John Carpenter horror banger, respectively) to invest a little disposable income in a collection of the best Pharrell and Chad work in half a decade. Oh yeah, Pusha and Mal are pretty good rappers too.

That's minimum and feminine like sandals.

2006-11-27T22:57:00.000-05:00

Apropos of nothing in particular:

Lots of talk—amidst Hova's return to commerce this week and the Jayceon sideshow the week before that—about numbers lately. That's all good.
Just wanted to take it back, for a minute, to a time when RZA was going to cook up some grime and invite cuz over to knock Discman-wielding 7th graders on their school bus-taking asses regardless of how many Soundscan units Liquid Swords was going to track.

Fear 'em as soon as you hear 'em.

2006-11-18T15:11:00.000-05:00

Hell Hath No Fury is here! Hell Hath No Fury is here!
Alright, all dork-outs aside, still letting this one sink in. More to come later. For now though, a few things need addressing immediately.
1. There's a large chance of misinterpretation on the part of yours truly here, but at first listen of the second verse of "We Got It For Cheap," it seems as if Malice has called out Maya Angelou's use of metaphor.
2. Malice's new sing-songy flow, employed on said verse, is straight filthy.
3. Pharrell has apparently forgotten everything he learned in singing class. "Hello New World" greatly benefits from this development.

That's That

2006-11-15T22:36:00.000-05:00

How good is the new(ish) Snoop/Kels jaunt?
Check the 1:13 and 3:33 marks:

Not much there that Calvin hasn't battered us about the head with ad nauseum since 2001. But surely this thing would ride Nottz's beat to Jam of the Week status if MTV still did that sort of thing.
Anyway, to answer the question; it's good enough to warrant the creation of a whole new fetish.
Chainmail. Who knew?

No Problems

2006-11-11T18:43:00.000-05:00

The real problem with R&B mixtapes?
They have the potential (fully realized here) for the pretty and less-tough half of the urban radio landscape to put dudes like Ricky Ross and Lil' Scrappy in body bags.
It's strange days when a girl who got famous off the Hitch soundtrack does it harder, better, faster, stronger than Luda and Skateboard P.
This is all assuming that the act of reclaiming misfired bangers is a problem.
It's not.

Postscript: Scroll down to the "Sounds Like" section of Ms. Marie Rogers' myspace to listen to the thing.

Kill All Hippies

2006-11-01T22:32:00.000-05:00

Well maybe not all hippies. These Lavender Diamond hippies seem pretty alright.

All Hallow's Eve

2006-10-31T09:07:00.000-05:00

Do you have DJ status? Are you working tonight—the last night of October—in any major North American city?
Probably think about playing The Knife. Probably think about their song "Silent Shout." Probably think about just queuing up the entire album of the same name and going out to smoke cigarettes for 49 minutes.

Boys are dying on these streets.

2006-10-10T23:14:00.000-04:00

Celebrate the less than one-month-to-go mark on the Sordid Sentinels edition with some primary documents!
Two posts in a row regarding material that is one decade old.
Do you realize that there are teenagers running around right now—and up to no good, and crashing cars probably—who were born in the nineteen-nineties? Nineties babies!

I sampled your voice. You were using it wrong.

2006-10-07T00:53:00.000-04:00

In the midst of all the presidential hoopla, a question that might get lost in the mix:
Is "Dead Presidents II" the saddest song ever or simply the best song to headphone on just kind-of-a-little-cold October days in the borough?
Probably neither, but it's been getting the job done lately.

Postscript: Back in nine-six was there talk of David Willis and Josh Davis drinking the same Kool Aid?

"All in the game." —traditional, West Baltimore

2006-09-05T16:13:00.000-04:00

Fourth season of "The Wire."
How excited are you?
Please watch this season. We need more of this stuff.
Seriously, just watch.

Where did the teeth go?

2006-09-05T10:05:00.000-04:00

This comes about a week after having seen Little Miss Sunshine (on a well-played rec from our far-flung West Coast correspondent). Not life changing or anything, but a solid little 90 minutes of filmmaking. But I know not of cinema or movies so I won't really get into it.
What I will get into though is how horribly the 90 minutes were wrapped in a bright yellow box and sold to us. Okay, yes it was produced by 20th Century Fox or Fox Searchlight or whatever, but the marketing scheme screamed "THIS IS AN INDIE MOVIE" from the first trailer onward. This is a problem in the music world much more so than movies, mostly because it costs millions to put anything on film so everything winds up being backed by big money at some point, but it is a problem that has begun to cause headaches.
Basically, when did "indie" become an aesthetic instead of a business model? And why does that aesthetic have to be cutesy, inoffensive, quirky but nothing too bizarre?
Sometimes it's just like motherfucking fuck Sufjan! You know?
And I like Sufjan. I think.
Blame Natalie Portman and the dude from "Scrubs," or this kind of guy or Wes Anderson or whoever, but these questions are keeping people awake at night.
Or maybe it doesn't matter. It probably doesn't matter. This is all coming from a guy who is currently headphoning "My Love" at levels a bit dangerous for a displaced Monday morning cubicle sesh.
Anyway, the movie succeeds despite all the above fire and brimstone. Steve Carell is fast attaining actor first, comedian second status. Kinnear plays a great dick—really. And who knew that my boy Klitz would be the best thing to come out of The Girl Next Door that wasn't Elisha Cuthbert.
Actually, The Girl Next Door was a really great movie. I guess none of it really does matter.

Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

2006-08-29T09:58:00.000-04:00

Palms Out Sounds has some poor quality mp3's of the year's most talked-up collabo here.
The over/under on the potential greatness and not-so greatness of this thing may cause migraines. Proceed with caution.
Guys, we're rooting for you.

Hitting Switches

2006-08-28T14:54:00.000-04:00

You could text message until your thumbs locked at right angles and the numbers rubbed off the buttons on your Razor, until you were finishing sentences for T9 Word, but I'm pretty sure you would never beat the following exchange:

Bledsoe for McGahee. Why is your door locked?
I thought this was America.

Witnessed Sunday, August 27, 2006 at around 1:30 P.M. Sent around 8:30 A.M.
The text message as a medium is now done. Nothing that sweet will ever happen on it again.
Blame Jesse.

A Cautionary Word for DeWayne Carter, From Us, The Fans

2006-08-22T14:28:00.000-04:00

Word from Miami is that Lil Wayne is at work on a year-end release for Tha Carter III. (Also word from Atlanta is that he got arrested with like half a joint and some Xanax in his hotel room, but that seems so petty it's not even worth discussing.)
Lately, it seems like everyone likes to talk about how good Weezy F. is. Strike that, everyone likes to talk about how he is the sort of good that keeps getting better. How he has no ceiling. How at this rate his “best rapper alive” schtick has kind of fulfilled itself; how he just kind of willed it. How his mixtape verses are more interesting than almost anything else going on out there. Mixtape material!
What is this kid gonna do when it’s time for another proper album?
There are two schools of thought here.
Either he maintains his relentless, hooks up with the sort of producers his newfound critical daps can afford him (could you even imagine what would happen if he had half the dough the other Carter threw at Port of Miami?), releases rap’s answer to London Calling, and brings peace to the Middle East. We’ll call this the three-minute mile.
Scenario Two is that he hooks up with said super producers and something isn’t quite right. Could you imagine if Tha Carter II had the same sort of money that Port of Miami had behind it? We’ll call this the Isiah Thomas.
A large part of the appeal of Lil Wayne’s last solo jaunt was the lack of Mannie Fresh and its lean toward top game beats from no name producers. It was all over the place, in a good way—maybe better even than Purple Haze in that respect. The kitchen sink vibe produced some truly great oddball results. The Birdman Jr. goes roots on “Mo Fire,” tackles Maiden guitars on “Best Rapper Alive,” just about everything else on “Shooter” and murders them all with ease. It’s like he’s playing HORSE with himself.
An eighth or seventeenth listen to Dedication II sees Drama put a couple of the year’s most ludicrously stomping soundscapes in front of Wayne in “Hustlin’” and “What You Know?” to kind of so so results.
Maybe it’s just your narrator—and it probably is—but Wayne’s bugged out steez just don’t mesh with those two tracks that well. Wayne isn’t Ross or to a much lesser extent T.I. He doesn’t need to ride thunder-from-the-Gods-type beats to make up for a lack of skill. In fact, those type of beats only obscure the bananas flow.
It’s probably wrong to worry. The fantasy football that Weezy’s most likely playing with the production credits on Tha Carter III right now will most likely add up to a great album.
Just saying, let’s hope there’s no buyer’s remorse on that next Cool & Dre banger.

Knock ‘Em Out

2006-05-24T09:17:00.000-04:00

I read him pretty much everyday but this guy is a tool. If the chicken king superman vibe didn’t tip you off, surely this “covers project” did.
Did you just get a high-speed connection and access to LimeWire? Are you a freshman at state school with a shiny new Mac Book?
Wait, what’s that? You’re a 30-something blogger who uses the word indie far too seriously, far too often?
It’s almost not worth visiting for the mp3 schwag. Even the good stuff winds up eternally connected to your mark ass.
It’s really not the porn or the Zambian email scams or eight-year-olds with MySpaces that are ruining the Internets; it’s people who chew up bandwith with The Magic Numbers’ take on “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out.”

If this thing kills us, we could live with that.

2006-05-11T23:24:00.000-04:00

1. Back for the first time. I never really understood how you could get away with dropping that name on your debut album. Well, 43 days later and here's the first honest-to-goodness post.
I get it now. Deepest apologies Cris.

2. The new Apple ads present a problem. The ones with the kid from Ed and Dodgeball? You have seen them. No? Standing stage right is what the ad department or Steve Jobs or whoever sees as the embodiment of all things PC. He is plagued by viruses, he reboots, he is business casual. He is certainly not synergized.
The PC is played by a man named John Hodgman. This man is not really an actor or at least he is new to the acting game. He used to be a literary agent and now writes and runs something here in New York called the Little Gray Books Lecture Series. He once wrote a letter that was later read on the air here. (No permalink so just search "episode 243." Check in at the 48:18 mark.)
This letter is good. Really good. Nevermind that it was once an actual real-deal letter, like, with a stamp and everything. Nevermind that because it was once a personal letter, it was never meant for our ears and we got to hear it anyway. It is just a good God-damned letter and you should hear it. The problem is that the voice behind this letter cannot have a face. And that face certainly cannot be L7 personified in a national ad campaign. Not that the letter was particularly un-L7, but it clearly works better when it is a voice and only a voice reading that letter. I am at a loss.

Go 'head dowhatyoudo. Make it work for ya.

2006-03-29T23:53:00.000-05:00

I know I’m late to this party. Like, way late.

Like kid who graduated three years ago at the prom late.
Not too sure what this is going to wind up being, so bear with it, but maybe something totally sweet will happen.
Either way, just once around the block. No shenanigans.

Working on it.

2006-03-27T21:55:00.000-05:00

Working on it.